The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas {A Book Review}

The Sacred Search Cover


What if you stopped looking for a “soul mate” and started looking for a “sole mate”—someone who will live out with you the great purpose of God? What if dating isn’t about finding “the one” but making a wise choice so you can better serve the One who loves you most? What if God didn’t design relationships to make you happy but to make you holy? Don’t Get Married Until You Read This Book In The Sacred Search, Gary Thomas will transform the way you look at romantic relationships. Whether you are single, dating, or engaged, Gary’s unique perspective on dating will prepare you for a satisfying, spiritually enriching marriage even before you walk down the aisle. As Gary reminds us, a good marriage is not something you find—it’s something you make.

I want to give The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas the raving review that it deserves!

I think that I highlighted the whole book!

You may be wondering why I read The Sacred Search since I’m already a married woman.

Our oldest daughter is of marrying age, and she is looking forward to becoming a wife.
My husband and I have talked with her about being who she needs to be for her future husband/marriage.

Making such a wise choice may well be driven more by why we get married than by who we marry. It’s not that the who doesn’t matter (in fact, it matters very much); it’s just that asking and settling the why question first will set us up to make a wise choice about the who. Thomas asks, “Why do you want to get married? That’s what you need to ask before you decide who to marry.” –David C Cook Publishers

I’m Just sayin’” is the way that I read most of Gary’s book.

I’ll give you some examples and you tell me if you don’t hear, “I’m just sayin’” after each quote:
  • “Marriage isn’t about being young together; it’s about growing old together – and bodies change as we get older. If you don’t marry with that in mind, you’re going to make a major mistake—perhaps the biggest mistake of your life. “ (p. 25)
  • Women, ask yourself, what will you most desire in your man ten years from now, when you have kids and a house and are sharing a life together and the infatuation has faded? Find that. Look for that.” (p. 45)
  • I cannot overstate how crucial it is to be cautious and discerning in making such an important decision. You don’t want to miss out, do you? This is not the time for romanticized foolishness.

The Sacred Search packs heart searching into 19 chapters.

My favorite chapters:

  • Vulnerable and Stupid
  • You Don’t Want What You Think You Want
  • Passive Surrender or Passionate Pursuit? Compelling Reasons to Get Married
  • Are You Strong Enough to be My (WO)Man?
  • Something You Must Agree About
  • Problem People
  • Mercy Marriages

Each chapter ends with thought provoking study questions; questions that I think should seriously be explored and thought over.

Truly, knowing why you want to marry should be the first question that you ask yourself.

Gary goes to great lengths to help you find your “why” if your focus isn’t healthy.

I’m glad to have him in our corner with sound, Biblical advice.

I more than gladly give The Sacred Search by Gary Thomas a 5 Coffee Cup rating!
5 coffee cup review

Look for The Sacred Search in January wherever Christian books are sold.

Find out more about the author, Gary Thomas, at

Living With Sword and Coffee,

*I was given an eBook copy of this book at no charge. I freely agreed to write a review of said book. Honestly! These opinions are mine.