Priority Over Habit : A Way to Love Your Spouse

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Pursuing What Is Excellent -- Priority Over Habit

Priority Over Habit

I recently used the hashtag “priority over habit” on Instagram while my husband and I were getting dressed for our weekly date night.

I was thinking that it’s probably gonna be the same old thing that we always do; dinner.
Just. Dinner.
”Just dinner” had become a habit.
The questions we ask each other are the same: Will we try a new restaurant this week? Will we invite another couple to join us? Is there anything else you want to do?

If we’re not mindful, the weekly dates can get as monotonous as a regular trip to the grocery store or going to work everyday.
Nothing new. Nothing exciting.

But what if we looked at our dating life with new perspective?
It’s the excitement of “we get to” date each other!

I see our date nights now as  priority over habit.
It’s great to see my husband dress nicer for the evening.
I enjoy rubbing his freshly shaven head.
He smells nicer than usual (I always love his scent).
The conversation is simpler.
We’re setting an example for our children.
This man is purposefully chasing me!

By definition, priority is a thing that is regarded as more important than another.

Friendship In Marriage

I can get so distracted with other pursuits and other things that seem more important than building relationship & friendship with my husband.
I could say that my husband is my best friend all day long, but until I let him in on what’s going on in “my world”; which can be a silent place as I work behind the screen and backstage, it doesn’t give him opportunity to get to know ways that I’m learning or what’s important to me.

I make it a priority to put him “in the know” instead of making it a habit of thinking that he could probably care less (even though I know its not the truth).

Song of Songs five sixteen

His mouth is sweetness.
He is absolutely desirable.
This is my love,
and this is my friend.
Song of Solomon 5:16

Remember Your Reason

We can’t lose touch with our decision to marry our spouse.
Remember your reason.

We learn each other.
Sometimes the things we learn make us swoon,
and other times the things we learn make us want to pack it all up.

Pursuing What Is Excellent don't forget it, forgive it

In the times that we want to say “forget it”, we must say, “forgive it!”

In the times that we want to say “forget it”, we must say, “forgive it!” Click To Tweet

Hatred stirs up conflicts,
but love covers all offenses.
Proverbs 10:12

If you’re both Christ-followers, pursuing Him, may I suggest getting into the Word of God together!
There’s nothing like coming together over to agree over the Holy Scripture.

Now I plead with you, brethren, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that you all speak the same thing, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly joined together in the same mind and in the same judgment.
1 Corinthians 1:10

There IS a way to come back into unity.
Don’t allow strife, offense, nor bitterness to take root.
I’m not talking about wishful thinking.
I’m talking about the living Word of God that can set hearts and minds right!

Priority, Friendship, and Reason

Those are 3 key words that I want to leave you with today.
Think fondly of your love.
Take a moment to pray for them today; asking God’s blessing on their lives.
Remember your reason for joining your life to theirs.
Letting go of strife and offense is Biblical.
Live Biblically.

Living to Worship Him,
Kela

 

*I understand that there will be some that read this blog post and want to throw my writing across the room and have it land against a wall.
to my hurting-in-marriage friend, I won’t be as bold as to tell you that there are absolute answers for you in this post. I do know the God that ordained and blessed the marriage covenant. You probably need more than what I can give you in written words, but please know that it is in my heart to pray for you. God knows your anguish and He hears your cries and loves you deep.


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  • metzgersix

    Wonderful encouragement Kela!!!

    • Thank you so much Jenifer!!

  • Thank you so much! That means a lot coming from you! 🙂
    Yes! AMEN!!!
    I’ve gotten comments before about how my posts are hurtful and I wanted to make sure I acknowledged that in the way I did with the disclaimer.
    Thank you for your encouragement!!

  • Love it when you write on marriage!

    • <3 <3 Thank you!!!

  • Susan Arico

    I liked this! Especially:
    “We can’t lose touch with our decision to marry our spouse. Remember your reason.

    We learn each other.

    Sometimes the things we learn make us swoon,
    and other times the things we learn make us want to pack it all up.”

    • Thank you!! It’s always a learning process for me! haha! and we’ve been married a little over 22 years!