In the beginning our marriage was, lets say, a lot to be desired. I didn't know what it meant to be a Godly woman let alone a Godly wife. I wasn't even a Christian before I got married (read this post) .
Some people know this little fact about my husband and I, but many don't; we had a child before we got married. Our oldest was 6 weeks old when I finally decided to take Brian as my husband. From before her conception, marriage was discussed and seemingly inevitable. I allowed too many wrong influences to tell me what to do and I backed out of wanting to get married. I had finally had enough of the constant pain that both of us were feeling. I called him up on a Tuesday afternoon and said, "Let's go get married tomorrow at the court house." That's what we did.
I was ill-equipped to know how to properly be my husband's wife; even in the marriage bed. I didn't see the importance of meeting my husband's needs.
Even after coming to Christ I had a long row to hoe. My mindset had to be drastically changed. I then started reading marriage books by Christian authors. The first one that I read was His Needs Her Needs. I was STILL hard-headed and was looking for Christian books that would tell me that it was okay NOT to have sex with my husband all the time. I never found such a book.
God's hand held my husband's heart during this time. He was so patient with me that I'm still amazed that I didn't drive him away.
It was decision time for me. Even though I was feeling secure that my husband wouldn't physically leave, I finally realized that I was hurting him and my marriage and that I was truly missing out on a MAJOR benefit and blessing. My husband was/is passionate about ME and I didn't appreciate it.
I picked up a copy of Love is a Decision by Gary Smalley. I didn't even crack the book open. I just took the title at face value and decided to love my husband. I wanted to love him and respect him as Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:22-33 and Titus 2:4-5 instructs. It was then that my eyes were open to the beauty of marriage God's way.
Our marriage didn't magically or overnight become a success story. I'm still learning how to better love my man and see him as God sees him.
I'm on this journey like all married women and have days that I miss the mark or fall flat on my face. God is faithful to correct, reproof, forgive and redeem.
So, as I encourage you, I'm encouraging me.
Be strong women and fight for your marriage!
Resources are following this awesome song!
- Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas
- Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands
- The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace
- Becoming the Woman of His Dreams: Seven Qualities Every Man Longs For by Sharon Jaynes
- His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage by Willard F. Harley Jr.
- The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
- The Act of Marriage by Tim and Beverly LaHaye
- Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by Dr. Kevin Leman
- The New Building Your Mate's Self-Esteem by Dennis and Barbara Rainey
- Intimate Issues: Twenty-One Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex by Pintus and Dillow
- Creative Counterpart : Becoming the Woman, Wife, and Mother You Have Longed to Be by Linda Dillow
- The Power of a Praying® Wife by Stormie Omartian
- Sex Begins in the Kitchen: Creating Intimacy to Make Your Marriage Sizzle by Dr. Kevin Leman
THIS BOOK IS ON MY WISH LIST!!!:
Making Sense Of The Men In Your Life What Makes Them Tick, What Ticks You Off, And How To Live In Harmony by Dr. Kevin Leman
The books listed above are linked to my Amazon Associates Account.
Until next time...Be Abundantly BlesseD!