“Shame is not an agent of change. Like a shot of caffeine in the morning,
self-loathing may propel us unto the road of change,
but we will find that hatred of self only leads us onto a never-ending roundabout.
Like being terrified by a number on the scale in the morning and vowing never to overeat again,
a shot of shame may get us through to lunch but never through to our freedom.”
– Stasi Eldredge, Becoming Myself
I’d felt shame and was afraid to admit it.
I was ashamed of the way I looked and the way I felt when I looked at myself.
I knew that I was making my Creator sad when I loathed myself.
He made me beautiful and worthy of love.
My security rests in God’s approval of me, but it sure does do a woman’s heart good to hear her husband tell her how beautiful she is.
I’ve been reading Stasi Eldredge’s book, Becoming Myself and it is rocking my world!
How I’m starting to view myself again is God at work in me. Its easy to think of myself as lovely when I’m my desired size.
It may not be your size, but easily something else that you loathe about yourself.
I want to share another quote with you from Stasi’s book:
“Every woman is beautiful. You are beautiful. I am beautiful.
Though I have recognized it in other women for as long as I can remember,
I have only begun to see it in myself.
Yes, I believe I am beautiful. Some days. Well, some moments.
God help us all to believe it more deeply and more often.
Because in the places where we don’t believe it, we continually shame ourselves.
And shame will never be an agent of change.”
I couldn’t move on from that place of reading. I tried to close the book but my eyes kept scanning it; wanting it to get etched into my mind.
My man is speaking from his heart and he wants me to believe it too.
Its so important that I show affection toward him and admonish him.
He’s the love of my life. I like what I see and love what we have!
He didn’t marry me for my figure, but for my heart, the woman I was and the woman I would become.
All too often, that’s a rarity in marriage and if you’re hearing those affirming things, take it to heart.
I have to get that deep down into my soul and believe that the love He has for me is more than enough; that my worth and validation comes first from God.
I want to feel beautiful because God told me that I am, not a mirror, a hairstyle, fashion, makeup, or the scale.
Living With Sword and Coffee,
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