Your Heart and Mouth are Connected

 

“Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearer.”
Ephesians 4:29

Let’s focus on Godly communication in marriage.
My mind went to my actual posture and speech toward him.

Is my communication corrupt or edifying?

“A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”  

Luke 6:45

I’m sure that no Christian husband or wife wants to think that their heart or words could be evil.

Communication starts in the heart and thoughts. What are you thinking about when you think about your spouse?
You may not say anything verbally ill (more on that in a minute), but do you know that your body language communicates everything else?

Let’s talk about that body language for a moment, shall we?
I’ll be fair and examine myself in this also.
I will also admit that the list below will seem a little “pouty” in nature, but it’s what happens.

Do I:

• Shrug my shoulders when my husband asks, “What’s wrong?” By this point he knows there’s definitely something going on.
• Walk out of the room without saying anything after he says something that I don’t like?
• Tense up when he touches me in an effort to make amends?

All of those are a heart condition that shows in our body language, which communicates loudly, “leave.me.alone!”.

I’m not saying that how we feel in certain instances aren’t valid.
My question is, is this a habit that is becoming a sin?

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O LORD, my rock and my Redeemer.” 

Psalm 19:14

Now for the verbal in communication.

I want to be kind, sweet, gentle, understanding, give my husband the benefit of the doubt, and open to receive the same from him.

Instead of pointing out possible, or probable negatives in our speech, I want to encourage with the Word of God to stay on guard with our mouths.
We need to develop a healthy habit of “biting our tongue” when communicating with our spouse.

I want my husband to know that I value him and our time together. I don’t want to walk through this union not knowing how to properly communicate with him.
If there is something in my heart that’s bitter toward him that is causing me to give him the “cold shoulder” or speaking unkind words to him, I want God to call me out on it, and call it quickly!

Let’s determine to abide with God’s love flowing through us.
Its a great idea to get His Word in our spirit to be able to draw from.

I“But no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison…praising and cursing comes out of the same mouth. My brothers, these things should not be this way.” James 3:8-10

I“And I say to you, that every careless word that men shall speak, they shall render account for it in the day of judgment.” Matthew 12:36-37

I“The wise in heart will be called discerning, and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.” Proverbs 16:21

I“She opens her mouth in wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

I“A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 15:4

I“The tongue of the righteous is a choice silver. The heart of the wicked is worth little.” Proverbs 10:20




Communication between husband and wife WILL happen at some level; be it negative or positive.

I want to learn to let God help me purify my heart and mouth in communicating with my husband.

Let’s pray:

Lord, I thank You that You have given me the ability to control my actions and my heart, and to do it best with the washing and purifying of Your Holy word.
I know that I will slip at times. Help me to recognize when I need to step back, ask forgiveness, and set things right. I know that there will be times that my actions or reactions may seem justifiable, but let me be mindful to walk in righteousness even when I’ve been wronged.
I want to exude a sweet, loving spirit as I live with my spouse. I want to see him with Your eyes, as Your valued child.
Lord, I want to communicate well. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen

Living With Sword and Coffee,
Kela

Photo credit:
Image courtesy of coward_lion / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image courtesy of Ambro / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Celebration and Changes

It’s been a minute, hasn’t it?! I’ve spent a lot of time away from my blog.
There has been a time of celebration and contemplation going on!

The Celebration:

1) Brian and I are going to be Grandparents!
Pops and Momma K, to be exact!

Aubrey and our son-in-love, Ben, are expecting!

We are all beyond excited about this little blessing coming into our lives!
God is showing His favor and love on them.

 
Becoming a grandparent is such an honor that I don’t want to take lightly.

I’m understanding what the term “next-level parenting” is all about. I desire for Ben and Aubrey to parent their child(ren) at the next level; to do better than their parents did (and I think we’ve all done a pretty good job).

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (NKJV; emphasis mine)

To God be the glory in all things!!

2) We are debt free!
That is a freeing feeling, but I don’t think that I can appreciate or understand the fullness of it like my husband can. It’s awesome to hear him continually praise God for provision; not only in getting our needs met, but in overflow. 

We have to be mindful to walk in simple faith. Simple faith can get a little complex when we look unto ourselves as the source and getting things done “our way”.

“Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Matthew 6:30-33 (NKJV)

Trust me. God’s ways are best.

The Changes:

There are many great things to do and be a part of. God has awesomely graced me with being able to write for a few ministries and home educating sites. When each one has such goodness to offer, why wouldn’t I want to write, write and write?

Then came the pruning.
I couldn’t do it all, but I put off on letting them go.

Two of those were shut down. *snip*

One of them, I just knew that I didn’t “have it” to contribute. My life was at a steady lull and I had no freshness to offer. *snip*

Another one….God just wasn’t leading me there anymore. *snip*

A couple more. I just couldn’t bring myself to write reviews in this season. *snip*

I was/am experiencing John 15:2, “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit.”

I’m more than okay with that. No need for me to throw a fit when I have the beauty of that full verse! Something is gonna bear more fruit!I write about faith, marriage, family and home education here at Pursuing What Is Excellent, but one “external” place remains.


The M.O.M. Initiative.
The heartbeat of that ministry is where my heart beats also.

 

Motherhood is something that can be tough. Not only are we rearing our children, but we, as women, deal with so much more than just changing wet diapers, wiping noses, drying crying eyes, development, youth stuff (like the hormones and changes).

We have to deal with ourselves!
Who we are, where we belong…or where we want to belong, comparison, our hurts, anger, friendships, etc.
We need to know that we’re not going through this alone.

The M.O.M. Initiative’s mission is to come along-side mothers in Biblical mentorship with Titus 2 as our backbone.


Almost a year ago, I contributed to The M.O.M. Initiative’s eBook, OVERWHELMED. I’d like to offer you a FREE PDF copy of that eBook.

CLICK HERE TO SUBSCRIBE to The M.O.M. Initiative and receive a FREE PDF of OVERWHELMED and daily encouragement for moms and mentors.


I look forward to bringing you more Momma K updates, what God is doing in our lives, how He’s guiding us to educate our children, and marriage enrichment posts (Oh, if you missed my latest post at Jolene Engle’s blog, The Alabaster Jar, you can read it now, His Wife First).

Living With Sword and Coffee,
Kela

31 Days to a Better Marriage with Jolene and Friends

There are a few things that I enjoy talking about. Marriage is the main thing!
The opportunity to write about marriage is always a delight and most welcome.

When I got the invite from Jolene Engle to participate in her 31 Days to a Better Marriage series, I was beside myself excited!

You’ll be introduced to 31 women, including myself, in this marriage series. The topics are vast and the knowledge is deep.

Our desire for this series is to affirm you, equip you, encourage you, and inspire you in your God-honoring role as a wife. –Jolene Engle

Read more of what you can expect from the 31 Days to a Better Marriage series starting October 1.
I’ll be reading it everyday. Join me!

Living with Sword and Coffee,
Kela

Introducing Wives of the Bible by Jolene Engle

Being a wife is an honor for me!
Being a wife has helped me to grow closer to Christ in these almost 20 short years of marriage.
Being a wife introduces me to another human that I have ultimate intimacy with.

I want to be a wife that leans on Biblical truth ALWAYS! 

What better way than to examine the lives of wives in the Bible. I strive to live by “God’s Word. Final authority” in my life.
The wives are woven into the truths of God’s Word.

This is why I’m so fascinated with and happy to endorse my friend, Jolene Engle’s new book:

Wives of the Bible: 25 Easy Lessons You Can Learn
from These Imperfect Women that Will Radically Transform Your Marriage**

From the intro and “how to use this book” section, Jolene explains very clearly what to expect when reading this book. Expect a challenge from the enemy. My favorite quote from that section:

“When a marriage reflects Jesus Christ, this makes the Enemy angry. So be prepared for the spiritual battle that’s about to ensue as you take this journey.”

In Wives of the Bible, Jolene highlights 25 women that I can relate to on some level; from the wives that didn’t make the best choices, to the wives who had it hard in the marriage, to the wives that were wise in their marriages.

Wives of the Bible is a book that I highly recommend to women in every stage!
If I was to do a local, short married women’s study, I’d definitely choose this!

Read more details about Jolene’s new book from her blog post, What the Word of God Can Teach Us About Marriage.

I give Wives of the Bible 5 out of 5 coffee cups!

Living With Sword and Coffee,
Kela
Please join me and 30 more wives in October for 31 Days to a Better Marriage at Jolene’s blog!
I’ve seen the line-up….and believe me, you wont want to miss a day!!
I promise!









{{**this post contains affiliate links.}}