“My
husband and I can't seem to agree on anything!”
“You spent how much!?!”
“My wife's parents are driving me crazy!”
”You never listen to me!”
“You spent how much!?!”
“My wife's parents are driving me crazy!”
”You never listen to me!”
Let's
face it—even the best of marriages hit an occasional bump in the road now and
then. The secret to marital bliss lies in how you and your spouse handle those
bumps.
I wasn’t sure what I was looking for
when I first started reading Happily Ever After: Six Secrets to a Successful
Marriage.
One thing that I do know is that whenever
I have a marriage book in my hand, I try to read it 1) to see how it will
benefit me in my marriage and 2) how it will benefit other women that I mentor
in their marriage.
Conflict resolution in many areas of
marriage is the main point of this book.
I do have a favorite quote from the
book concerning marital conflict,
Marital conflicts are inevitable, but
arguing is an option – an unhealthy option. Arguments never resolve conflicts;
they simply intensify them.
Other subjects written about are;
· Negotiating change with your spouse
Okay…This chapter made me laugh, but
also a little disheartened at approaching your spouse to change 1 thing a week!
It may work for some people, but even with the suggestions about how to go
about doing it would make me crazy! I’d feel like an utter failure if my
husband came to me each week saying…”Okay now. Time for more change.” I don’t
want to live with a perpetual fault-finder.
I am not saying, however, that we
shouldn’t work to improve ourselves. There may very well be times that
something may need to be addressed and changed, but I don’t feel to the extent
of every week…or even every month.
· Making Money an Asset in Your
Marriage
There are some really great points
about trusting God to meet our needs and working as unto Him. Money is a tool
and not to be used to replace relationships, or to be seen as a sole source of
happiness.
“If you believe that more money and
more material possessions will bring you marital happiness, you have the wrong
attitude. Money can be used to provide more creature comforts, but money will
not create a successful marriage. It is righteous living, love, patience,
gentleness, and compassion that build meaningful relationships.”
Mr. Chapman gives many practical tips
and advice when it comes to couples and money.
· Now What? Marriage after the
Children Arrive
A word of advice (and Mr. Chapman will
agree)…order of importance in the home: God, Spouse, Child(ren). Period. Yeah,
yeah, I know…the kids aren’t going to take care of themselves. I have six
children; I know this full well. You can take care of your children and still
maintain a healthy, rightly placed relationship with your spouse. It is a
choice.
· Making Love
“The couple who are
truly following Christ will never be satisfied simply with having sex. They
want to be lovers, and they are willing to take the time and effort necessary
to make that a reality.
…The couples who will
make love for a lifetime are the couples who are committed to learning.”
Check out the “Making Love” chapter
titles:
1. Love and Sex: Perfect
Combination
2. Making Love Requires
Patience
3. Love Gives but Never
Demands
4. Love is More than a
Feeling
5. Love’s Most Effective
Language
6. Love Inflicts No Pain
7. Love Forgives Past
Failures
8. Making Love is a Life
Long Journey
· In-Law Relationships: Becoming
Friends with Your In-Laws
I
was really looking forward to this section. It made me ponder some things; How
can I improve my relationship with my mother-in-law? What kind of mother-in-law
will I be? Can we all REALLY
be friends? How will extended in-law
relationships look?
Many
of those I already knew the answers to, but I know that there are still many
more in-law relationships coming in my life in the future. This is the time to
determine HOW to be a blessing to my family.
In
this section, I’ll be highlighting some points that had me nodding my head;
either if it were something “hard” to hear, or something that was an “aha”
moment.
· At the time of marriage, our (parents of the young adult)
goal of helping them become independent reaches fruition. We have helped them
move from a state of complete dependence on us as infants to complete
independence as newlyweds.
· Giving unsolicited advice to your married children does not
develop positive relationships.
…and
my favorite; which I actually did share this with my future in-love (in-law);
my daughter’s future mother-in-love…
· The ideals to which we aspire are freedom and harmony. The
married couple needs the emotional warmth that comes from a wholesome
relationship with both sets of parents. Parents need the emotional warmth that
comes from the couple.
Happily Ever After is an overall great
read. I would recommend it to engaged and married couples
I give Happily Ever After by Gary
Chapman a
5 out of 5 Coffee Cup rating!
Happily Ever After:
Six Secrets to a Successful Marriage
by Gary Chapman
Published in 2011
by Tyndale House
List Price: $15.99
ISBN
978-1-4143-6444-5
Available anywhere
books are sold
|
I received a copy of
Happily Ever After: Six Secrets to a Successful Marriage by Gary Chapman at no
charge from Tyndale House Publishers. My review of the book is given in
exchange.
Living With Sword and
Coffee,
Kela
